Knowing Your Worth: Common Mistakes Associated with Self-Esteem Issues

It's a well-used cliche. Know your worth. Some preach it. Some practice it. A select chosen few possess the ability to do both. Those who have yet to discover their true worth or those like myself who are slowly discovering it can be seen making these few but obvious mistakes.

1. You Stay in a Toxic Relationship or Friendship Even When it's Killing You.

I've made this mistake more times than I like to admit. Toxic relationships can be born of many things. Money, sex, or anything material or tangible can breed a toxic relationship, whether it's between two friends or significant others. It isn't easy to avoid these things when you don't feel confident in yourself and don't feel that you're worthy of healthy attention. I know now that I am, and so are you.

2. Your Work Performance Suffers Because You Don't Feel You Deserve The Job You Have Or The Pay You Receive

This one hits me close to home, and it was one reason I wanted to write this. I hold a leadership position at my everyday job. For the last four years that I've held this position, I often find myself thinking (and overthinking), wondering if I deserve it. I make small mistakes sometimes because my mind wanders from the job at hand to thinking that someone else is more worthy and should be doing it. I am slowly working on that, and writing these posts has helped my confidence. For that, I have to thank my loyal visitors. I can only hope that what you find here helps you in some way. The help you all have given me in simply supporting this venture has been immeasurable.

3. Your Social Life Suffers Because You Feel Like A Bother To Everyone

This one speaks to me in many ways personally as well. However you come by your self-esteem issue, you will often prefer to spend time alone because you feel it is an imposition to ask or join friends on an outing. You may also suffer from a form of social anxiety in which you find yourself acting out of character in situations you deem too crowded. I am very guilty of this. It's one of the reasons I don't often patronize my local bars anymore. I find myself getting anxious from being around so many people, and as a result, I drink too much, thus ruining the good time I set out to have. Whatever your version is, it's normal, and I think it has a lot to do with the pandemic separating us for so long. Some of us who thought we could handle being apart from people don't know what to do with ourselves now that things have relaxed somewhat. But pandemic or not, let me be the one to tell you this: You are not a bother to your friends; that's why you're friends. Also, you are not a bother to your family. You didn't pick them, but they chose to stay by your side. Embrace it.

4. Your Family Life Suffers Because You Don't Feel Good Enough

Oh man, if this one doesn't take the cake for me, I don't know what does. I've always felt a little inferior compared to other family members, my younger siblings in particular. They were athletes, something I couldn't be for reasons most of you understand by now. Now that we're older, there are things that are easier for them than for me, if I can do them at all. I often feel that despite being the older sibling that is supposed to look out for the younger ones, they are always the ones looking out for me. Before I began to commit my thoughts and feelings to this page, there were a lot of things I refused to see. One was that for siblings, and family in general for that matter, looking out for each other is a two-way street. Moral of the story: Don't allow yourself to assign roles in any situation. It only makes your anxiety and self-confidence issues worse.

5. Your Relationships Suffer Because Your Self-Esteem Issues Leave You Guarded And Have No Idea When You're Being Treated Well

The further I got down this list while writing it, the harder it hit me in the gut. Relationships are complicated for some people, particularly if you have issues with self-esteem. If you're not careful, the wrong relationships can make it worse. I went through one with a person I loved dearly and have the utmost respect for to this day, a relationship in which our love for each other was unquestionable. The same could not be said for how her family viewed me. I honestly don't know what was said or who said it; I have no desire to point fingers when it comes to the past. I do know someone, somewhere, who said something to the effect that she could do better than me. While they weren't far off then, it still hurt and gutted my confidence in myself for a long time. I had issues trusting in relationships, to begin with. This did not help. Regardless of your circumstances, if you treat people well, you deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be secure in your relationships. It goes both ways. Communicating your worries to your partner so you can work on them together would be best. I was unable to do this in the past, and it cost me some of the best relationships and potential ones, too, of my life.

Self-esteem is a vital part of everyday life. If you don't love yourself and feel confident in what you do or say, you can't expect the world to do it for you. I sincerely hope what you read today speaks to you in some way. I hope where I've come from sounds like where you've been or possibly where you are. If the words on this page reach even one person and speak to them, my efforts will have been worth it. Stay safe, my loyal readers. Stay healthy, and know your worth.