It’s all in Your Head: A Simple Change in Mindset Could be Your Key to Success

Mindset is Everything

The title says it all. No clickbait here. I’ll be the first to admit that I would do well to follow the advice given in this title, but that’s why I do this. When I started this little venture, I did so intending to inspire people and spread awareness for those with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. What I didn’t realize was how cathartic it was going to be for me, and how a lot of the posts I’ve written ended up being just as much for me as for others. It’s amazing how writing about something can make you realize you’re just as guilty as anyone else who could read what you wrote. I never considered the possibility that I could inspire myself just as much, if not more than I was inspiring others. It all comes down to your mindset. The key to success is one of those things that they aren’t kidding when they say it’s all in your head.

When It Comes To Success Mindset is Everything

Until recently, I have been a walking–more or less–example of hypocrisy when referring to a positive mindset. One part of me would refuse to accept the possibility of giving in to my circumstances and drawing that dreaded government check, while the other side would make excuses to not pursue this dream I’ve been chasing since I was a kid–even when I didn’t know I was chasing it–because I wasn’t confident in my ability to write. Lately, almost a year on from starting this little venture, I have discovered that the fear of not succeeding is indeed in my head. The fear and the resulting anxiety and depression have caused me to do things I would never do normally, and I’m paying for it now, literally sometimes.

Key to Success: The Right People Will Stay

Because of the physical condition that I’ve talked to death about, it seems, I once thought that money was the only way I could find and keep friends, that I brought absolutely nothing else to the table. While there have been people in my life that have thought that way about me, I’ve learned not to think that way of myself. My only regret is allowing too much time to pass before coming to this change in mindset. As much as it makes me cringe now, I’m enough of a man to admit that I’ve spent literally thousands of dollars in order to maintain certain friendships. None of those “friends” are around today. Do I miss some of them because of the good times we had together? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. Others however, walked out the door while I held it. I’ve heard and read in many places that surrounding yourself with the right people can influence your success that money doesn’t come close to. Sometimes that means not surrounding yourself with anyone at all.

Never Fear Being Alone

I spend a lot of my time alone these days. It’s a mental and emotional 180 from how it used to be. I used to be desperate for friends. I craved the affection and intimacy of a relationship. For the longest time, I didn’t know how to be alone. It took a few stark realizations and quite a few lost dollars for me to get to where I am today. Not only am I becoming an expert and being alone, I prefer it that way. I don’t have time for dead-end relationships. I have no desire for friendships that are based on anything more than who I am and how we get along as people, and that goes for friendships with both men and women. When a man isn’t afraid to eat alone, he is inherently more selective about who he invites to his table. I paraphrased something I heard to that effect because, for one, I’m not a big fan of cliches; they make writers–and our editors–cringe. I also admit that I am unsure of the exact wording of this sound advice and I would hate myself if I misquoted whoever said it first, but I digress. The point of it all is this: You are less likely to put yourself in unfavorable situations if you aren’t afraid of settling for your own company. The right people will find you for the right reasons.

Don't Be Afraid To Seek Help

Depression is, at least, part of being human. Even if you aren’t clinically diagnosed with depression–as I am not, at least not that I know of–you will battle it or something similar in your life. That you find yourself depressed matters very little. What does matter is how you cope with it and how you respond when you come out of it. I am not too proud to admit that I have coped with depression in questionable ways in my life. One of the most common is with a substance of your choice; mine used to be alcohol. Another is distraction, whether you distract yourself with the opposite sex, video games, or maybe television, it’s very easy to put off facing your emotions one night at a time, one game at a time, or one episode at a time. The distraction is temporary. Your emotions will always be there to smack you in the face after you’re finished with your chosen distraction if you don’t deal with them. As a man, I admit it’s hard. We are predisposed to the expectation that we are always strong and show little or no emotion outwardly. Though we may not show it outwardly, we are often screaming on the inside. It’s a new day, guys. We don’t have to be strong all the time anymore. It’s ok to talk about things. It’s ok to lean on someone you trust. It’s ok to ask for help. It takes more of a man to admit he needs help and let his feelings be known than it does to bottle everything up and lash out when you can’t take it anymore. Believe me, I’ve been there. I used to be the bottle up and lash out guy. Once you figure out the best way for you to deal with your emotions, whether it be a creative outlet as I have chosen, music, talking to a friend or family member, or even seeking professional advice, you will find yourself on a better path to success.

You Define Your Own Success

One of the biggest obstacles on my path to success, one that I’m still dealing with to some extent today, is the cacophony of people telling me I can’t or won’t be able to do something, whatever the reason is. If I had a dime for every person who has told me that a goal I’ve set is unrealistic, I wouldn’t need to write because I’d already be a wealthy man, although I would probably still do this because I enjoy it. The road to success is going to be lined with people who tell you what you’re doing isn’t realistic or possible. What they are really doing, unbeknownst to them, is testing your resolve. They are testing you to see how badly you really want to succeed. Your best bet is to pay no attention to them. Put blinders on if you have to. The only person’s opinion that really matters is you. If you can look in the mirror and say “I’m happy with what I see,” you can consider that a success. Success doesn’t always mean money and material things. Success is in your heart and in your mind. The only person who can define your success is you.

Don't Be Afraid To Start Over

Sometimes the hardest thing to do on the road to success is to start over. If you have to start from the beginning, it’s easy to get down on yourself. I’m the perfect example of this. I’ve had to start over twice that I can recall. Sometimes it can be a blessing, even when it doesn’t seem that way. It’s not a simple thing to do. You feel you failed, and a lot of times you did. But the baseball fan in me loves to use the analogy that a hitter can fail 70% of the time and still go to the Hall of Fame. It would stand to reason then that failure is not permanent. When you have a goal in mind, failure acts as a stepping stone. If you’re in the right frame of mind, you learn from every mistake. Each time you try again, you’re a little better, a little wiser. Eventually, to put it in baseball terminology again, the game slows down and you can keep up. I think of life like a book. Each time you try something, it’s a new chapter. Eventually, the conflicts are resolved. It’s never too late. Never give up.

Change Is Good

One of the worst things you can have if you want to be successful is a fear of change. It’s normal to have a comfort zone, a place where you feel safe and confident. It’s human nature to want to retreat to your comfort zone when you encounter strange and new things. What I think is important to realize though is change is key to growth and evolution. Every aspect of human life grows and evolves whether we like it or not. The tools of every trade–as well as the trades themselves in some cases–have changed as time has passed. In order to succeed, you may need to change your daily routine in some way, or possibly change the group of people with whom you associate. All change is difficult at first, but if humans have been able to do one thing to survive all these years, it’s adaptation. Embrace the coming technology instead of retreating into fear that it will replace you at work. Explore a new career path if you feel stuck where you are. We only get one shot at this, and the best shot we have is to grow and change with the world around us.

Opportunities for success are all around us. We just need to know what we’re looking for and where to look. Surrounding ourselves with like-minded people makes it almost impossible not to succeed. Starting over, though it may seem like failure, is merely a new chapter in your journey. Failure is always part of the deal, and if you haven’t failed, you haven’t tried. The world is constantly changing, and if we want to succeed, we have to grow and change with it, no matter how difficult the transition may be. I sincerely hope what I’ve left here has left an impression of some sort. The more words that fell upon this page, the more my own determination to succeed grew. In trying to inspire my readers, I have once again given myself some much needed inspiration. Thank you to all who read and support what I do, and may you find your own version of success.