I Can’t Believe I Haven’t Written This Already: 10 Ways to Cope with Disability (Or Life in General)

Whether it’s a recent diagnosis or something you’ve lived with for your entire life, coping with a disability can be a tall order sometimes. Depression can creep in at random times, even if you haven’t been diagnosed. Anxiety can develop because you don’t know what to do next or if someone is staring at you walking down the street. I went through it starting this blog. I would continuously tell myself that nobody would read what I have to say, that nobody cared about people like me. I’ve recently come to realize that such self-deprecating thoughts are exactly what keeps many people–disabled or not–from achieving their dreams. I am human–as are the rest of us–and I am not perfect. After some deliberation, however, I have come up with a list of ten things that people can do in order to cope with everyday life, disabled or not.

1. Improve Your Mind

In the writing community, it’s common knowledge that the best writers are also voracious readers (thank you Stephen King). I read every day. No matter what you’re reading, it can help you improve your vocabulary. Reading can take you places you never thought possible. There are so many things out there to learn just by picking up–or if you’re digital like me, downloading–a book on the subject. But improving your mind isn’t limited to reading. Thanks to platforms like Youtube, there are videos covering just about every subject you can imagine. If you can occupy–and by extension improve–your mind, life seems a little less daunting.

2. Do What You Can to Improve Your Physical Health

This is common knowledge in most circles when dealing with depression. This is something that I’m not afraid to admit I could do better. As hard as it can be sometimes to motivate yourself at the beginning, improving your physical health will make you feel better about yourself. The better you feel, the more motivation you have to continue the process. This is something I could definitely do better with, but honestly, there are a lot of things on this list that fall into that category. I guess you could say I’m writing this just as much for myself as for you folks. I used to justify my lack of attention to my physical health by citing my remote job and lack of need to be around people. As time goes on, that becomes less and less of a viable justification. Thanks to a good friend and great supporter of this blog, I have been able to get out into the world regularly again. I suppose I could credit him with the new outlook I have and the desire to practice what I’m preaching in this particular instance. Moral of the story, nobody does anything meaningful alone.

3. Develop a Routine

This one is the hardest of all for me. It’s actually the one tip I was thinking about when I was brainstorming for this article. As it stands, I have a routine for days I work and days that I don’t. The days that I don’t work are the worst, and it makes me feel like a hypocrite writing this. I guess it would be better to call it a lack of a routine for those days. That’s where I want to get better, and in doing so, I hope I can inspire someone to do the same. Humans are creatures of habit. Healthy habits create healthy people, as cliche as it sounds. It may be hard to get into a routine at first, but once you do, it will get easier with every passing day. Even if it starts with something as simple as making your bed every day or some other seemingly meaningless tasks, a daily routine of some sort will be invaluable to your success. As an example, I try to write something every day. Is it publishable every day? No, it isn’t. But putting words on the page helps to get my brain thinking positively. Sometimes it’s something as simple as notes for a post such as this one. Whatever it is, that’s part of my routine. As time goes on, you will gain self-confidence and add things to your daily routine that will make you feel even better. I’m doing this more, and it’s been a lift to me personally. Join me. Start a daily routine. You’ll thank me later.

4. Find Motivation in Unlikely Places

This one is kind of funny to me. It came to me in a conversation with my dad recently. We were talking about me doing a daily walk down the driveway and back to the house. Mind you, the house is on a hill, and the driveway is long with a decent curve in it. My response caused an exchange between us that makes me chuckle even as I write this. I told him that in order to have the motivation to walk any distance; I had to have a destination. There had to be an objective. I’m unsure how serious his response was, as it involved a beverage in the mailbox (even in the Midwest, it’s August, don’t do it). But it got me thinking how incredibly stupid that rationalization was. While I will not be going to the mailbox to retrieve an obviously warm beverage anytime soon, it got me thinking about where I was finding my motivation (or lack thereof, sometimes) and how a change there could improve my life and my self-esteem dramatically. Motivation comes in all forms from all directions. Pay attention and it will find you.

5. Find a Passion and Pursue it, No Matter What It Takes

That this blog exists is a perfect example of this. I always had a passion for helping people despite not being able to drive to them or provide much help in a physical sense. This blog started as a way for me to get my writing out there, but it turned into a quest to not only spread awareness for cerebral palsy, but to also inspire people to follow their dreams no matter what obstacles may be in the way. Some of you may have noticed the sports commentary section of this blog. I use that to pursue my other passion, baseball. It’s easy for me to say that if it wasn’t for baseball, I wouldn’t be the man I am today. Though I’m not able to play anymore, being able to follow and write about the sport I’ve loved since I was a kid has provided an outlet with which to stay around the game, talk about the game, and enjoy the game that much more. Whatever your passion is, there is always a way to pursue it, no matter what obstacles or limitations life may put in your way.

6. Learn Your Limits, but Don’t be Afraid to Push Them

I thought the last part of the previous point was a perfect bridge to this, though it wasn’t intended. Disability or not, we are human and have limitations. That said, it's never a bad idea to push those limits. The worst advice anyone has ever given me was to accept my limitations. Disability or no disability, nobody has ever achieved anything by accepting the limitations put in front of them, whether they be self-imposed or imposed by society. That said, there are certain things that in life, you have to accept that you won’t be able to do.

When I was young, there was nothing I wanted more than to play baseball professionally. I knew even at a young age that it wouldn’t be an easy road, but I was going to give it a shot, or so thought the little league version of me. As I got older however, I slowly realized that while I may have had some of the tools to play ball competitively, I didn’t have some of the most important ones. There are some pros who are widely regarded as having an acute lack of speed. Realistically though, I would make even those guys look like Rickey Henderson (if you know, you know). With that in mind, I am more than happy to pick up a pen instead of picking up a baseball.

7. Surround Yourself with the Right People

I’ve written many times about instances in my life that were defined–pun not intended–by the people I associated with. I have read many articles online and watched many YouTube videos, and they all say one common thing in one form or another; to be successful, you need to surround yourself with successful people. That’s not to say you should ditch all your friends that aren’t what today’s society considers “successful”. This refers more to mindset. If you want to become a successful person, you must first surround yourself with people of a similar mindset. If you surround yourself with people who have no goals or aspirations, you will inevitably lose sight of your own. I am blessed to have a great group of friends and a supportive family who support everything I’m trying to do here. If for whatever reason you don’t have those things, networking is your best friend. There are Facebook groups and forums for everything. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals and watch your self-confidence soar and watch your chances of success soar with it.

8. Embrace the Support of Family

I mentioned earlier that the worst advice anyone has ever given me was to accept my limitations. On that same train of thought, the worst advice I’ve ever given myself is to discount the thoughts and support of family. In the past, I was of the mindset that support from your family didn’t mean as much. They’re supposed to support you no matter what, right? My family has supported my passion for writing from the beginning. I foolishly put their support in the back of my mind because I thought they were only supporting me because they felt they had to. Even worse yet, I often entertained the preposterous thought that they only supported what I was doing because I had nothing else going for me because of my condition, and that if they didn’t support me, no one would. With a few more trips around the sun under my belt–and one more coming up in about two and a half weeks–I realize I have something good going here, and that the support my family and close friends have given me has been well-placed. No matter your circumstances, never downplay anyone who supports what you love.

9. Allow Time for Yourself

This one seemed self-evident to me at first. I spend a lot of time by myself and enjoy every second of it. What I’m referring to however, is not overworking yourself in pursuit of success. As the old saying goes, “Slow and steady wins the race.” If you want something, work your way to it. But what I’m suggesting here is not to work so hard you forget to live. We only get one trip through this life. Don’t spend it all in pursuit of the almighty dollar. Otherwise, you won’t have time to spend said dollars or anyone to spend them with. This was a short and sweet one. Go after your dreams and pursue your version of success. But don’t forget to take a step back once in a while to enjoy the ride.

10. Invest in Yourself

I’m sure you’ve heard this a time or two in some form. You can invest all the money you want into real estate, stocks, crypto, the list goes on. But your most valuable investment is one you make in yourself. I’m not talking about spending money on college, though that is an option. You can take a class, buy a book or a course to learn something new. I consider anything that leaves you with more knowledge or more skills a positive investment in yourself. You can even do what I did and start a blog or other online business. There are many paths you can take with just a small investment in yourself, and that investment will pay dividends far greater than any stock or real estate investment. Remember, your greatest asset is you.

As I often do, I learned a lot about myself and people in general while researching and writing this article. Some things I’ve mentioned here are things I will implement in my life right along with you. Nobody is perfect. If we were, there would be no room for growth or improvement. What’s important is finding aspects of your life in which you can improve and working toward that goal. Whether it’s improving your mental capacity, mental health, or even your job standing, always know that anything is possible. Work yourself into a daily routine. Always be on the lookout for motivation and opportunities. Find something you’re passionate about and go for it. Learn and know your limits without being afraid to push them at times. Surround yourself with like-minded people, including your family (they are often your best supporters). Chase your dreams, but always remember to take a step back and take time for yourself and invest in yourself. After all, you are your own best asset. I wish luck to each and every one of you. Follow your dreams, and remember, never allow your circumstances to define you.